Lisa Eaton - Womens History Month

Today, for the "Women's History Month" celebration, I would like to introduce this fabulous woman

Lisa Eaton, 61, wife, mom, teacher, creative and owner of bowtiedotcom

“When you look at a person, any person, everyone has a story. Everyone has gone through something that has changed their life.” -Deepika Padukone

I am from upstate New York, very near the Massachusetts border. I am the 4th of five children, and I’m the only girl in the bunch. We lived very rurally, on a dirt road, at least a mile in either direction before reaching a paved road. My father was a social studies teacher at our very small high school, and my mother stayed home, overwhelmed by having too many children. Until I was seven, we lived in a two bedroom house that was on a large piece of property my father had bought with his sister, my aunt— who lived across the driveway in her own house—not long after World War 2. My mother was pregnant with me when my parents had the foundation dug for the new house. While we lived down at-the-other-house (said like it is all one word) my parents built a 6 bedroom stone house using lots of materials found on the property, including all of the stones and some of the wooden beams. We walked and ran between the two houses either on the (still) dirt road or on a path that ran down the hill from the new house site to DownAtTheOtherHouse. We kids also rode on the running boards of the VW between the two houses. The ‘new’ house, less than a quarter mile from the 2 bedroom one we lived in, was designed by my very creative mother, and built over the summers, vacations and weekends by my father, mother, brothers, family friends, student interns, pretty much anyone who would lend a hand. My father gathered stones from hedgerows on the property, dragged them to the building site, and split them one at a time so that there was a flat side that would become the outside wall of the house. It was no small task, which it seems was true of pretty much every step of building that house. We finally moved into the ‘new’ house when I was 7. It was far from finished. There are still parts of it that remain unfinished to this day!

In addition to teaching, my father was an amazing vegetable gardener, and he also raised animals for us to eat. We had a milk cow, chickens, ducks, goats, sheep, pigs, steers for meat, a pony, as well as a number dogs and cats that were family members. I think now about how my father milked the cow every. Single. Morning. Before school and again in the evening. Ugh. My mother was an amazing cook, and my brothers had big appetites. I can hold my own in that realm as well. Mom made all of our bread-at least 10 loaves a week. She processed the cow’s milk and also made ice cream and lots of phenomenal dairy desserts. She canned or froze food from the garden. She made soap using the fat from the animals that we raised that eventually became food. Though my brothers and I do not use the F word, some people called our place a Farm. I think it’s more that my parents were sort of hippies, minus the free love and drugs.

We had only one car for a long time, I think until my oldest brother needed a car to get to an early morning farm job. So we were pretty isolated. My high school boyfriend’s father once asked when he was driving me home, “Do you need a passport to get up here?” We were out there in the woods.

When I was growing up I entertained myself by making things. I learned to sew when I was 8 or so, and I’ve been sewing ever since. My parents also ran a day camp for 5 or so years, turning the 2 bedroom home we had lived in prior to the move to the new house into home base for the day camp. Looking back now, I’d describe the camp as craft based. It was pretty great. There wasn’t a schedule, campers, and I was a camper every year, could just do whatever interested them whenever they wanted. There was a person who was a potter who would help with clay projects, a fine jeweler who taught us how to make really nice jewelry, my father was a woodworker and kids could make things with wood. My mother taught us how to make things from leather. We had a pond and a full time lifeguard, so we could swim whenever we wanted. We went on field trips around the Hudson Valley and into the Berkshires. It was seriously great. And having spent summers mostly by myself, shadowing my brother who was 3 years older than me, or taking care of my brother who was 7 years younger than me, the camp was a great way to see other kids, do fun things, and MAKE things. I have always loved to make things, and I think that that love comes directly from my parents and how they chose to live.

I had a great public education K-12. I loved school. I loved going to school. Our tiny high school was grades 7-12, and it was exactly the right place for me. I liked my K-12 experience much more than I liked college. I went to a state school in NY and studied Home Economics Education, following in the footsteps of the woman who became my first sister-in-law by marrying my oldest brother. The best thing I got out of college is my lifelong friendship with my freshman roommate, Maureen. She remains my bff–which I always thought meant ‘best female friend’ because that’s what Maureen is to me. My daughter’s name is Grace, named for Maureen’s middle name.

I taught in Albany, New York for a year before getting married in 1986 to a friend of my second oldest brother and moving to Maine. The marriage lasted only a couple of years, but I stayed in Maine and married my current husband in 1992. I taught in Maine for about a dozen years and decided to leave teaching in 1998. I had been selling neckties and bow ties at craft fairs during the summers and decided to try to make that a full time gig. Thankfully, when he was 13 or so, my younger step son suggested that I buy a URL with the word BOWTIE in it. LISTEN TO YOUR YOUNGENS! I bought the URL Bowtie.com. That was the best $35 I’ve ever spent! I’ve been making bow ties, suspenders, and neckties and selling them online directly to my customers. I have a studio in our home and feel very fortunate to be able to live this dream of working from home. I was made to work from home!

Life challenges? How did you overcome them?

That’s a huge question! I’ve had a few. When my husband, the good one, and I got married, I didn’t know if I wanted kids or not. He already had kids from his previous marriage and did not want to have more children. After about a year of marriage, I realized that I did want children and my husband still firmly did not. We went to therapy for a year to find an answer to this question that had no room for compromise. At the final session, the therapist said something to the effect of, “one of you is going to have to give the other a gift from the heart.” John sat for a minute after she said that and then said, “I can give Lisa that gift.” Wow. And then we thought we were done! Go home, enjoy some good baby making sex and be happy! But that was not the case. It took 7 years to get pregnant, with one miscarriage after about 3 years. Lots of doctors got involved in our effort to get pregnant. We finally ended up doing In Vitro Fertilization, which had only a 5% chance of us going home with a baby. But it took only one round; I was pregnant, and it was a very easy pregnancy. Having Grace has been one of the greatest joys of my life. It’s also been a lot of struggle. She was recently diagnosed with autism, which explains sooooo much about her struggles throughout her life. It’s like a light has been turned on with the diagnosis. Her sensitivities and fears as she was growing up as well as currently, make so much more sense now.

My most recent life challenge has been my own health. In 2021 I received the heart breaking news of the death of a lifelong friend. Not only had she died, but she had taken her own life. My heart actually broke. After receiving the news, I had a rare kind of heart attack, called a SCAD. For the most part, I have maintained a healthy diet and exercised regularly for all of my adult life. What I mean by this is that I was not a candidate for a heart attack. Unfortunately, it turns out that I have a rare underlying condition, discovered while I was in the hospital for the SCAD, that makes my secondary arteries more brittle, and the shock to my system from the grief that I experienced caused the inner layer of one of those arteries in my heart to tear. As the blood continued to pump through my heart, it got between the layers of that torn artery and caused a blockage. I’m still adjusting the fact that I am no longer the healthy person I assumed myself to be. Up until the SCAD I had even been bit cocky about my health status. This past June (2022), I was struggling with the anniversary of my friend’s death, simultaneously with the anniversary of my heart attack. In addition to the anniversaries, my friend’s birthday was in mid May, I had had a very vivid dream about meeting up with her to talk about her choice to end her life. My mind was whirring with all of the ‘why’ questions. Amidst all of that, I went to see a play that had an intense scene depicting a character’s interior conversation, her inner demons telling her to kill herself. I went home and had a second SCAD heart attack.

I see challenges as problems that need solutions. I do know that there are problems that can’t be solved (for instance, I will always have this underlying health condition. It’s treated with medication, but it’s always going to be something that I have to manage, be aware of and careful about), but I have a mantra: Every problem has a solution. Every problem has a solution. Every problem has a solution. That helps me shift my thinking, after a period of acknowledging how shitty something is or how I’m feeling, from ‘Ugh’ to ‘Now what do I/we do?’

Life Achievements?

•I can (and prefer to, but they aren’t available in hybrid vehicles) drive a standard transmission.

•I paid for my own college education. I taught school long enough to pay off my student loan.

•After two years I left a marriage where I was unloved and did not love well, either.

•When I married the second time, I married a man I love deeply and who makes me a better person.

•I find therapy helpful, and it’s allowed me to grow beyond what I knew was possible for me.

•I started a business that I love that allows me to use my sewing skills and work from my studio which is in my home. I’m really good at what I do: the craft and also the customer service.

•I taught myself to use Photoshop and to design fabric.

•I have designed the wicked coolest bow ties EVER!

•I have lived within my means.

•I have often fixed or made things myself in order to save money. I married a man who has the same philosophy.

•I am close with my brothers.

•I have really, really good friends whom I love and who love me.

•When I realized that I needed friends who’ve experienced cardiac events, I started a Cardiac Social group which is gaining some traction.

•My daughter is delightful company. I’m proud of who she is. I can see traces of my parenting in some of the areas of her excellent-ness.

Here are a few of my passions:

•My relationships: with my husband and daughter and also my other family, with my friends, and with my customers.

•Making things! Quilts—both bed quilts and art quilts. I love to cook and bake. I love to make all kinds of fruit jams. Small home furnishings like lampshades, light switch covers, mosaics, curtains. Recently I’ve rediscovered my love of sewing clothing, and on and on…

•Creative problem solving of all kinds, usually having to do with some sort of personal problem either in our home or in my business

•Making use of things that other people would throw away. For instance, my entire studio has only a few brand new things in it, one of which is the television and the other is the cutting tables. Everything else is either a hand-me-down, a curb pick, or purchased used-like this computer!

•Reading and podcasts.

What do you value the most in life?

Time. Time with family and friends, and time doing/making the things that bring me joy and satisfaction. My favorite thing to do is to share good food with the people in my life.

Advice for other women (words of wisdom)

Every problem has a solution (I use that as a mantra when I’m stuck in a challenge). Take care of yourself, and listen to your inner voice. You will find your way.

Here a few more of Lisa's favorite quotes:

“The best way out is always through.” ―Robert Frost.

“The future of our world is only as bright as the future of our girls.” —Michelle Obama.

“You are loved and always will be.” —Maureen Pokal

"People will forget what you said. People will forget what you did. But people will never forget how you made them feel." - Maya Angelou

******

Thank you, Lisa, for sharing your inspiring story!

#womenshistorymonth #womansupportingwomen #womanpower #mainephotographer

3 Comments

Mar 9, 2023, 6:15:30 PM

Michelle Wagner - Lisa, I have known you since you came to the high school in 7th grade. I admire you for your strength, perseverance and your amazing outlook on life's struggles. You are an amazing woman (& your photos are gorgeous)!

Mar 9, 2023, 5:45:57 PM

Diane Manzi mann - Yes Lisa you are an amazing woman. I have known you fir over 20 years and I am a better person for knowing you. You are a role model my heart and prayers are with you in your health journey. Love you my friend. ❤️

Mar 8, 2023, 12:47:31 AM

Michael Murakami - Terrific stories. I’m am proud to be one of your customers!

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